Shitty Toy Review #1

Playskool® Kota Triceratops

Hey everybody! It's time to hop on board the shit mobile and and take yourself back to prehistoric times! That's right! It's the Kota Triceratops! Look at that little asshole.


The Kota Triceratops is just like a "real baby dinosaur", because scientists have discovered what live dinosaurs were like as infants. The process was easy. All they had to do was build a time machine and go back to the prehistoric era. After doing so, they took the fruits of their research and created the brilliant toy I am now presenting to you. When children ride it, its head, eyes, horns (?) and tail move! It can hold up to sixty-pounds of child!


It responds to child's voice and touch with "animated body parts". Oh ho ho!

It has two obnoxious "sound modes" that are sure to send parents to a level of hell they didn't even know existed. Some times it makes "baby roars", and it also has four "adventure songs".

Adventure songs, huh?




Anyhow, thought you'd all enjoy a nice video of this... thing.

Now at first this didn't really seem like a bad idea when I first saw it. I loved dinosaurs when I was kid. Totally loved them. But I didn't love them sexually.

Watch carefully between second markers 0:14 - 0:16

What the hell?

Is that kid fucking HUMPING Kota the Triceratops?

I think he is.

On the fucked-up-retard rating, I give this toy 3 out of 5 stars.


1 star for the fact that this son of a bitch sings
1 star because its advertised as a "riding" toy even though it doesn't even freaking walk
1 star because of the moronic sounds it makes