Nobody says no to Princess Powerful.

I told that bitch how I felt. I mounted her and whipped out my enormous carrot. I started eating that little bastard and said "hey, fuck you. I enjoy me a good vegetable now and then."

But no! She wouldn't listen. She said the military folks understand her feelings, said she would be boarding the S.S Anne any time now. Said she wanted to find herself a good old cowboy overseas in America, a good old cowboy who enjoys eating meat now and then.

I told her to love animals, not to eat them, but she wouldn't listen to reason. She wouldn't acknowledge me as a man, so I did the only thing I knew how to do: I summoned the raptors.

They screeched angrily and tossed back their mighty heads, looking heaven in the face and daring it to say otherwise. Jesus came down in his golden chariot, calm as an itty bitty worm on a big fucking hook.

And then I remembered my mama. She took my face in her dirty, rough hands and looked me in the eye real stern-like. She said: "Jacky, my boy, don't you think 'fer one second that this'll be cake. Don't you think 'fer one second that this'll be like shootin' fish in a barrel. This ain't no game."

When Jesus came down, I punched him in the face and screamed "be a man, Jesus! Tell my woman that she ain't allowed to make her own decisions! Tell my woman that she has to listen to me, and eat spinach forever!"

Jesus cried like a blubbering pussy and told her that she had to listen to me or she'd be damned to hell forever. My woman cried like a blubbering pussy with him and ate her salad like a real southern belle.

The raptors went home and did what I told 'em to. No one says no to me. Not God, not dinosaurs, not nobody.